Pushing one's self

So over the course of the last two years I've had a problem since I left high school and that was a serious lack of motivation. I seriously didn't think that there was anything that I NEEDED to do anymore and that I was free from the binds of school, free to be whatever I want, do whatever. Yea that turned into three wasted college semesters and a lot of money gone because I just didn't care. Truthfully I told myself I wanted to take a break from school when I graduated but then again that was me not pushing myself to want to do anything. I got lazy and sloth-like and let my overall health decline because I just didn't want to do anything I thought I could finally kick my feet up

Well Unfortunately that lead to the unhealthy lifestyle that my many many months in isolation have made me grow to resent. I started my little period of paranoia and such, and then I just decided to say FUCK THIS and started to force myself out of these terrible habits I've become accustomed to. And the first and most important thing I think I did was to actually finish something which was my book. I finished the first draft and still trying to get feedback from people on what worked and what didn't and this time I'm not saying it I'm actively trying. It took me soo much to realize that I get results from actually trying rather than sitting and waiting for the world to come to me.

I want to be the best and I need to actually get that push not from everyone else, but from myself because that's the person who pushes the hardest.