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Saturday, September 21, 2013

Anybody think that Final Fantasy 13 was a flop?



I couldn't sit through the first 4 hours of this game before I sold it. Lightning was completely unlikeable and well let's face it, a bitch. I felt Szach (don't care how it's spelled) was a whiny old man "looking after the children" (not even gonna go into how creepy that sounds) I though Snow was an idiot, Hope was a loser, Vanille... was from Mars.

Jesus, this game didn't have any charm whatsoever. The maps were linear, the story was OMGWTFISGOINGON?!, the battle system was mash X to win. I would go on to say this is probably the worst RPG I've ever played. And the reason I bring this up is because




Yes. Square is scraping for acceptance. Lightning is wearing the costume a much cooler character, Yuna, once wore from a game that's significantly better as well as over a decade old. Lightning is NOT LIKEABLE and this is embarrassing marketing for the final chapter in the FFXIII trilogy. And with this move -- as well as her being able to dress as Cloud Strife -- Square is openly admitting "Look we fucked up, forgive us, buy this game and we'll use the money to make FFXV good."

Unfortunately, I'm a pretty hard sell. I'm not even gonna pat my pocket for this title, I've had enough emo and bitchy from you. Which is kind of weird to me admittedly because my favorite Final Fantasy was 8 and if you remember Squall was moody too. But here's the thing, he was relate-able! A troubled teen who shut out his friends and treated people coldly because he felt alone, he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, it made alot of sense for his psyche to crack. I can relate to being a loner who hates people, I can't relate to being a moody bitch who's cold to everything with a beating heart.

People told me the game gets good 20 hours in and what's that saying? I have to sit through 20 hours of SHIT to get to the gold? What kind of ass-backwards design philosophy does that come from? Why would I do that to myself when I can just play a game like Final Fantasy 8 which is intriguing from the get-go. It's a huge gamble and it lost.


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