P.S. 133 Observational log Day 2

I regret having to report that there is nothing interesting to report. I took the time out to interview one of the new students who arrived recently, Bobby Ricks. He recently switched schools because of an undisclosed incident. He's quite the character I'll admit.

How are you getting along in the new school, Bobby?

Oh, I can't complain. It's got a weight room and girls, all I need. Really there's not much you can ask from a school, class is gonna be boring as hell, the lunch is gonna be lethal, and the teachers are gonna bitch about their paychecks a lot.

Is that how you view all schools?

Hey, go dumpster diving looking for a diamond ring. If you're disappointed by the trash and filth while you look, you need help.

And how would you describe the student body?

Pennsylvania doesn't change man, the people don't change. You got the nerds, jocks, and uh, oh wow is there another type of person? I've never though much past that.

How would you rate the teachers?

A lot of them probably took this job as a last resort, haha. Who the hell wants to teach these kids? I mean there's girls like Tina, she's got OCD practically coming out her ears, I don't think she even knows how to pay attention. Think about how frustrating it would be to question someone who doesn't pay attention, jeez man.

Do you believe the teachers do a good job, Bobby?

What? Sorry wasn't paying attention.


Do you believe the-

Ha, I'm just yankin' ya man. Look the teachers do the best they can, but come on you can't teach the unwilling. For the most part I'll say yes they do, simply to fill my good deed for the day quota.

So you don't believe they actually do a good job?

I'm really not going to repeat myself.

Fine then lets move on. Bobby I'm going ask you about things less curricular, if that's okay with you. Lets say I'm working with the FBI and I've been sent to observe your school, what do you think I would find?

Quite an active imagination you got there Disney. I don't know what you would find honestly, there's like some secret society stuff going on I know that.

Secret societies? Care to elaborate?

I don't know man. It's kind of, like. Alright get this, certain people are doing certain things. Some weird ritualistic stuff down there man.

Rituals?

Oh man you really haven't been here nearly long enough. But really I shouldn't be speaking on this, am I free to go?

Sure, just one last question. What do you think your place is in this school, where do you specifically stand out amongst everyone?

Me? I'm a hero. That's all there is to it.

That was quite an interesting interview but I don't know if I can trust Bobby's intel. Whether it was true or some made up fantasy is difficult to determine. Either way I'm guessing there's a lot more than what's on the surface in this school. Anyway the day went by the same as yesterday, there was nothing unusual to report.

~Ted

Current project to be aimed at High School Life

High school was a treacherous time for all of us and a time most of us just want to take in the back yard and bury. I know it was for me that's for sure but however that means its just perfect for telling stories about especially in a supernatural type setting. My next tale will be following the lives of some high school teens gone superhero as they find it's pretty hard to juggle two lives at once.

While I have some cool pieces in mind and character archetypes I definitely want to do I don't quite have a solid story yet so for now this is all the info I have. It's Set in Philadelphia and is in the same storyverse as Cold Fire with the same race called the Reavers. These, however, are kids who weren't taken to Project Purity and got to live semi normal-lives. Of course the pressures of high school life and high school jackasses can ruin any good life so the transition from teen to hero can be rather hard.

P.S. 133 Observational log Day 1

Day 1, I was sent to this school to observe the children. Not sure of what they think I'll find here and honestly it annoys me to even be here. The halls are cluttered; strewn about with papers, snapped pencils, and other assorted school supplies and on top of that it smells in here.

I sat in on one of the classes and sat awestruck at the blatant lack of respect for the teacher and her lesson plans. One student, Bobby Ricks, is a complete class clown; he raises his hand to answer questions and says nothing more than snide remarks. The other children get a kick out of it but I am underwhelmed, he seems like a bright kid if he would run his mind more than his mouth. Next child I noticed was Megan Bronsten, she was just another stuck up snob of a girl, professionalism aside.

This was just one of the many classes I had the displeasure of sitting in on, this is honestly just a waste of my time. I've observed a total of eight classes today, each filled with the archetypical high school pick and mix of miscreants, and I've seen not one anomaly or anything worth noting, other than what I believed to be a handjob in the hallway somehow.

I don't get paid enough for this job. Day one yielded no observations on anything other than high school being a miasma of bad hygiene and wasted potential. Gonna log this down as inconclusive and come back tomorrow morning.

~Ted

Pushing one's self

So over the course of the last two years I've had a problem since I left high school and that was a serious lack of motivation. I seriously didn't think that there was anything that I NEEDED to do anymore and that I was free from the binds of school, free to be whatever I want, do whatever. Yea that turned into three wasted college semesters and a lot of money gone because I just didn't care. Truthfully I told myself I wanted to take a break from school when I graduated but then again that was me not pushing myself to want to do anything. I got lazy and sloth-like and let my overall health decline because I just didn't want to do anything I thought I could finally kick my feet up

Well Unfortunately that lead to the unhealthy lifestyle that my many many months in isolation have made me grow to resent. I started my little period of paranoia and such, and then I just decided to say FUCK THIS and started to force myself out of these terrible habits I've become accustomed to. And the first and most important thing I think I did was to actually finish something which was my book. I finished the first draft and still trying to get feedback from people on what worked and what didn't and this time I'm not saying it I'm actively trying. It took me soo much to realize that I get results from actually trying rather than sitting and waiting for the world to come to me.

I want to be the best and I need to actually get that push not from everyone else, but from myself because that's the person who pushes the hardest.

The Background of Kindra, as told by Kindra

Kindra, one of my favorite characters in the Ruin series talks about her fall from grace in the next step of the series.

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I was born alongside my twin sister, Andarla. We’re part of a race called the Judges. We are, by your mortal standards, gods. It doesn’t mean our lifestyle differs very much from you mortals, Andarla and I grew up very similar to Earth children; we were nursed, raised, and educated in homes.

When Judges come of age they are granted a sector to preside over. Andarla and I were given the rare opportunity to rule together over a sector that included your planet Earth. It was a great opportunity; my sister and I were the best of friends as children. But as I soon learned time wears on any relationship.

We were worshipped by the mortals on the planet. I was seen as a god of love and kinship, my sister a god of strength and beauty. They built statues in our honor based on astral visions of us in the stars, they were surprisingly accurate. While the praise went on for centuries Andarla had not received as much love and worship as I did and many of her followers had even chosen to follow me as well. This did not sit very well with her.

One day, her anger and jealousy had reached its peak. Without moment’s notice, Andarla plunged a sword through my heart, slaying me immediately. From there I fell from clouds on high down to Earth’s body of water. From what early records had stated, the resulting geyser was a fantastic sight. It was thought to be a meteorite that had fallen, no one had any clue that a god had fallen. My sister knew the worst humiliation for any god is to walk among mortals, she wanted to see me squirm and writhe.

I was resurrected as a mortal, waking up in a strange river. I made my way to the nearest civilization. Many of the inhabitants had recognized their fallen idol; however, they didn’t resent me as I expected. Even as a mortal my followers loved me just the same and kept me in high regard. This angered Andarla even more.

 For many generations my followers received my blessing. By drinking the water in which my godly blood had spilled, they received a much healthier and longer life. It was the most I could grant with my significantly reduced abilities. I was a greatly cherished individual, even more so than in my godhood, and I loved every one of my followers. I even settled and had children with a man that I had fallen in love with. My sister’s attempts to humiliate me had fallen flat, something she knew oh too well and planned to put a stop to.

Andarla had decided that she had been made a fool of for long enough. She released strife over the planet, cursing only those who had followed me, to a fate of being hideously mutated to resemble demons and given strange hellish abilities. And she had special plans for my bloodline. Each of my descendants fell gravely ill to a sickness which eventually claimed their lives. As well as a curse that was placed on my womb, causing every child I bare to die.

I was no longer considered an idol. Considered nothing but scourge, mistreated, and abandoned, entire civilizations were afraid to even make eye contact in fear of a curse upon their house. Andarla had won. My children died for game, my statues had fallen, and I faced the ultimate humiliation walking among mortals alone.

But this wasn’t the end for me, I decided. I studied every forbidden magic I could across all spectrums, searching for the key for eternal life. I needed to stay alive long enough to figure out a way to ascend back to godhood or reverse time.

Unfortunately true eternal life is impossible for any mortal. Instead I found a way to clone my youthful body as well as a way to transfer souls to another body. Through this process I was able to technically mock immortality; even if die my soul is set to travel to my new body as long as it’s ready. Needless to say I took advantage of this tactic for many centuries and throughout my time I witnessed the rise and fall of many civilizations. And although I started out as a total outcast a worse fate be felled me as time passed, I was forgotten.

I saw the evolution of those who were now cursed by my blood as they became more and more human-like and their powers became more concealed. Even still this didn’t prevent society from attempting to destroy them; witch hunts, crusades, purging, all throughout history, but the numbers were just too great. However, ironically, even my children had forgotten about me and society had forgotten about them; too occupied with other problems across the world.

Now to this day I still walk the Earth.”

Next chapter in the story; Thinking of E-Publishing

As I posted earlier that I finally finished my story and am already eager to continue on with the plot line. The next part of the series will be spread broader than its predecessor. Nicholas at the end of the tale is taken to a governmental prison isolated on Belham island offshore.

And from there the story is gonna progress to include a much large cast and explore many more psychological themes of course the Nihilism is gonna be toned down a bit as it's no longer gonna be first person.

The themes I want to explore is the many perspectives of prisoners and how they reflect. megalomania, racism, and choice. So far I have little bits and pieces but it's not all there.

What I can confidently say is that Nicholas will not be the only protagonist, the antagonist's name will be Victor Cros, and lots of Reavers will be involved.

That's all I have for now

While trawling my usual writing forum I came across a juicy tidbit about E-publishing on Amazon and I was really excited about it. I'm one of those people who likes the free crowd as a means to at least start and as I struggle to balance myself and go back to school for something that isn't writing so me spending a bit of money on it seems a bit off. So I'm going to try this E-Publishing to get an opinion on my work while going to school for game design.

The draft is done

The first draft of Cold Fire has been finished clocking in at 22098 words and 62 MS word pages the story comes to a close as I move toward the progression of the series. I'll be sending it out to readers soon enough to hopefully get feedback so I can start sharpening up and polishing the tale.

I would also like to congratulate myself for actually finishing a story I started. It took alot of work and long hours staying up but I actually COMPLETED a project that I started.

I don't know what type of feedback I'll get back from my readers but I can say this is a great milestone for me. I just need to remain adamant and dedicated toward my work and I'll be even closer to being a successful writer.

Getting back into another old series Called Fantasy World

I was doing a bit of cleaning today and was going through basically a time machine of older works, class assignments, drawings and etc. and I found an old draft to a story that I always wanted to do. It was a series named Fantasy World, a title that was inspired by Final Fantasy when I was very young I came up with it after watching my uncle and brother play it alot. Ideas formed very very young in my head and as my writing matures I often wonder what I thought in retrospect and often think is any of it usable now? Well I'll just quote a bit from the draft I found. Quoted word for word, I remember I came up with this story based on I believe Final Fantasy X and Kingdom Hearts or at least it sounds like it

"Now you see. Within the boy...lies the key to making you real. Jensi! Do you understand what you have to do?"

"The boy..." Jensi replied

"What?" answered the man.

"The boy..., will he be hurt in this process?"

"Not at all. Now go!"

Jensi turned and started to walk away out of the darkness.

before he completely left, he stopped, and then asked. "Before I go..." Then turned his head toward the man. "I don't really know your name..."

The man looked at him grimly, and then said "you really don't need to know"

So as tough as it was to write every single punctuation and grammar error in that piece I rather enjoyed writing it and I'm sure I enjoyed it when I was younger and still trying to discover my thing for writing. But overall I'm sure I can used this idea or something along these lines to make something out of it because an old car can always use a new coat of paint if it still has the parts.

My whole goal with this series was to surpass Final Fantasy actually which is alot of my motive for much of my writing when I look back on things. I created tales to surpass Inuyasha, Mortal Kombat, some samurai game on the internet, etc. and honestly that's what I interpret as inspiration: taking an idea and trying to do it equal or better. But as for passing Final Fantasy in storytelling that's a monumental task for a new writer but all in all I'm always up for a challenge I mean I can write a grim dark tale about the horrors of the human heart and the juxtaposition of reality vs belief I'm sure I can whip up a couple of fantasy tales here and there.

It's all about how well you can imagine and how your imagination runs and whether or not you can make the reader see what you saw in your work. Hell you can have the greatest idea for a tale but who knows maybe someone just couldn't see it. I'm determined to make sure you all see it someday.

Anyway back to cleaning up

~Grim

Fun Theory: Disruptive Punch

One of the best things about being a writer of fantasy is that we can make any scenario we want come to fruition. Want to fight a god? Done. Want to run around the world in 2 seconds? Sure why not? Even less? Go for it. Its fun to create newer and even cooler things for the sake of it even if you're not going to use the idea.

Today I was brainstorming ideas for a super power for a character that I thought would be outside the box. And then I came up with something I called the walking Quake. It's a character who has the ability to vibrate whatever they touch to an unbelievable degree, to such a degree that they can shatter molecular bonds! The force of vibration is an underestimated one especially when you can turn a solid to a liquid.

When I thought about how this character could use their ability I thought "what if they punched someone while sending a mass of vibrations through them?" that sounded incredibly painful when you think about it. Because when you're hit normally you're body absorbs shocks, now imagine thousands more going through every part of you.

My Paranoia of my Friends proofreading

This isn't me talking about conspiracies (even though I think some are out to get me O.o) this is me talking about perhaps friends can't do somethings right or are just too nice.

I think that I have a good work so far at least in my opinion but that's the thing I'm the creator of my story I'm supposed to like it but when I sent the draft out to a couple friends to read I noticed that the responses I got back were among the generic "I like it" variety which is annoying to me. Me personally I'm freaking hungry for critique over here and I'm not getting what I want, which is a simple quick analysis on maybe how things were worded or the characters, storyline, etc. Just something like that but whenever I get these quick say this so he'll shut up variety I get the impression that my work was more forgettable than a food menu. And this tears away at me because I'm stuck in this constant vortex of mistrust and paranoia as if my friends may be lying to get me to go away

Or maybe they just like it and I'm overthinking again.

Created a new facebook page and revived my old one

Today as I dug deep in thought again to express my opinion and beliefs I thought about reaching a broader audience to encourage discussion among my peers. Much like what sxephil does on Youtube except I don't have a good camera for it

But today I launched the page and sent it out to everyone I give you "From my balcony" a page that I promise won't spam you with pics unless they're related to the subject matter.

The reason behind the naming is because I'm equating my views on social and political issues to looking down from a balcony. Although you see things one way another balcony may have an entirely different view and that's where I thought the name was unique.

And also today I revived my art page that I created 3 years ago AB5olute Art which prominently featured my 3d art but is now gonna consist of my hand drawn and computer edited works

I revived this page because I saw that I had 75 likes and I didn't even know about it. So with me recently getting back into drawing as well as always looking for critique I thought this was a perfect way of putting myself out there

Please if any of these pages interest you come on in the door is always open!

A quick post: The current mental stability of children and young adults

Mental stability has declined significantly these days.

I know bullying is fucked up but seriously perseverance, self esteem, and self preservation. Look at what average black kids had to deal with during the civil rights movement. Holy Christ they had a WHOLE SOCIETY against them and they kept their heads up high, a couple kids call some other kids names or the kids THEMSELVES don't like their life and its time to break out the razor blades.

I think self esteem and respect should in all seriousness be a subject taught in schools, that's something that can be covered over at least 4 weeks and could drastically improve the mind state of alot of kids coming up.

Time for some head tripping

My head nearly fell off trying to make this make sense but anyways here's chapters 3 and 4 of Cold Fire, Nicholas Blade's origin story. Mind you it's incomplete and hasn't been edited yet so mistakes abound

•Chapter 3•

As I trod across the soaked sidewalk listening to the steady crashing of the rain across the neighborhood. I just intended to take this time to just try and clear my head. My mind was getting flooded by images of how things were with Veronica for some reason and it angered me. I just want to forget about her, I badly want that part of me to just die already. It’s over, she chose to separate us not me! I shook my head and began to think over who I was for a bit. Perfect thing to do when you have a lot of free time, right? I needed to think about who am I, what am I and what really is my purpose? I can’t decide. My name is Nicholas Blade. What am I? I’m a mercenary for hire, been that way for five years after gangbanging in my early twenties. What’s my purpose? I’m drawing a blank here, why would God ‘create’ such a bastard, why? The thought ignited a rage inside of me, it made me confused. I always hated bringing this up with myself but its something we all want to know.

Truth is, I don’t really like who I am or what I’ve become. Believe it or not I wasn’t always like this, I was once actually what I’ve come to hate. It happened when I was twenty, though I don’t remember what happened actually to me I remember it was traumatic enough to flip my entire perspective on life. I think it had something to do with someone close to me dying, I don’t remember past that really. Point is it drove me to the darker part of my heart as I began to abandon everything and everyone who ever cared for me, it felt like nothing could help me fill the void in my life. I felt like nobody could relate to me anymore, like no one knew my pain. This is where the underworld feels more natural, you feel like you’re not alone because you among kindred spirits, they feel your pain. But the underworld also had it’s repulsion. I had seen the lowest rungs of society, drug addicts to paid assassins to bosses and I realized that they were insane. These were people who weren’t like me at all, I didn’t want to be them. They pretend you’re family until you do something they don’t like or you get arrested or something, then to them you’re just a target, a bullet case, a corpse. It was a life I couldn’t live, I began to hate them all, phonies who pretend care, I didn’t want it. If I wanted someone to care about me I wanted it to at least be genuine, but it never came. That’s when I decided to be on my own, do dirt on my own, and just be alone. That’s all I wanted. And then Veronica, she and I. I thought she was the one who could complete me. Someone who had genuine care for me, but even that turned out to be another dead end. I wanted it to be just us, the two of us just able to sit down and discuss what was on our mind, but that never really happened I don’t think. It must have happened if we were together for two years. Fuck. I can’t even remember anything about myself, my memory about anything these days seems to be multiple choice. The only thing I seem to be about is anger and hatred, I remember those emotions all too well, everything is blurry as if my mind was under water.

I can’t take this anymore, I thought getting even angrier at myself. I then looked to my right and saw an empty alley way and acted on impulse and quickly punched the brick wall out of frustration. My mind was so occupied I didn’t even feel the jolt of pain flow through me as I pulled back my throbbing fist. I looked at the wall and realized my punch was much harder than I thought when I saw a large crack in the wall. I kept darting my eyes back and forth between my bleeding fist and the cracked wall. Just when I had enough to think about.

“And that’s where I come in!” Suddenly a woman’s voice echoed from the alleyway.
I darted my eyes immediately to the alley but I didn’t see anyone there. Just some graffiti stained walls, a fire escape leading up the apartment buildings, and a brick wall divider. There was no woman, but I’m sure I heard a woman. I think I’m losing it.

“I’m waiting for you to turn around, Nick.” The voice came from behind me.
I quickly turned around to see the strangest woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Her skin was a ghastly pale white, she had purple lips and purple triangular markings leading from her bright green eyes. She had a Dracula collared trench coat resting on her shoulders that was held together by a rope, but had no buttons and under that a shiny low cut purple dress. She looked like some sort of superhero standing there on the curb in the pouring rain, her arms weren’t in the sleeves of the large coat but instead crossed over her breasts. Who on Earth was this woman pretending to be?

“Okay.” I stammered out of fear.

“What? You’ve never seen a woman before or something?” She asked with a playful smile on her face. She obviously knew that I was taken aback by her appearance and just probably wanted see how I’d react.

“Who are you?” I asked getting over the initial shock.

“Kindra, my name is Kindra.” She uncrossed her arms and gracefully strode over to me. I found it strange and enticing, she had a nice body for what it was worth it gave me something to look at.

“Ok, Ms. Kindra.” I said looking her straight in the eyes, “What’s the deal here?”

She didn’t answer at first, she just stared at me letting a smile slowly take over her face. But then she took a step back from me and answered, “I’m here for you, Nick.”

“Oh I didn’t know it was my birthday today, I guess Chris sent me a stripper gram. I‘ll be sure to thank him.”

Kindra chuckled and remarked, “Nothing like that, Nick. Nope.”

A moment of silence followed as I observed at Kindra. She was an enigma, she didn’t seem normal at all, no, she had this radiance to her like something not of this world. I may be going mad right now but I didn’t want to stop looking at her for the moment, it was something interesting to think about.

“Are you happy, Nick?” Kindra’s words broke into my thoughts, for some reason I heard her much louder than earlier.

The question completely caught me off guard leading to her to repeat herself.

“Define ‘happy’ for me.” I answered.

“Are you satisfied with who you are? With what you do? And who you do it too? Is this how you wish to be?”

Those were questions I had thought about many times before. Truth is I don’t know if I’m satisfied with this life or not, I don’t really show emotion about it I just sort of live it these days. “I can’t say that I am really. But at this point and stage in my life I just learned to live with it. It doesn‘t bother me much anymore.”

“Oh.” Kindra replied in an alerted manner, she seemed to be taken aback by my answer. She paced back and forth rubbing her chin for a bit before stopping, placing her eyes back on me. She leaned closer me and asked, “So that night, that woman, Michelle. When she pleaded for her life. When she begged you not to pull the trigger and you did. It never bothered you? You just swept it under the rug?”
               
•Chapter 4•

The sound of rain momentarily muffled out behind my thoughts. I was neither surprised nor impressed, but I was actually intrigued now as to what was going on. I know I was isolated that night, just me and Michelle down a deserted street. I was given the order meet her after she was dumped off by my client. He had her chauffeured to the North Projects probably under the guise of maybe a nice dinner to talk or something along those lines, which is why she was wearing heels and a black dress, not the best running wear. I remember he shoved her out the car into the street and yelled ‘you two timing bitch’ as the car sped off. And that’s where I waiting, the job was simple: corner her, kill her. And I remember doing that just that, without a hitch. I didn’t have much information on Michelle other than she was involved in some sort of embezzlement scheme slash love triangle that was somehow connected to it. It wasn’t my business, my business was to take her life and leave her to rot. So was I set up? No, he knows I know where to find him, he wouldn’t risk a bullet through the eye to get rid of one woman its just not worth it. I know I wasn’t followed because nobody in their right mind willingly goes through the North projects at night. Even the police prefer that area never existed and tend to ignore it so its generally a final destination for unfortunate souls like Michelle. But if I wasn’t set up and I wasn’t followed, how does Kindra know about the deed? Something is definitely going on here.

“Ok, I’ll bite, who’s Michelle?” I asked.

Kindra narrowed her eyes. “Don’t insult me, Nicholas.”

“How am I insulting you? I’m asking you, who’s this Michelle you’re talking about because I don’t know anyone by that name.”

I wasn’t lying, I actually didn’t know Michelle at all. But I wanted to see what she knows about her.

Kindra huffed, her face grew stern with each passing moment. “She was a woman that I happen to witness in her final moment as she cried out for her life to be spared. Unfortunately she had no such luck as she was shot and killed by you.”

“That sounds sad.” I paused to light up a cigarette noticing I only had one left after this one, “Was she a friend of yours?”

Kindra had had it, her eyes looked straight through me as I continued to try and lead her on. It didn’t phase me, I knew what to do in this type of situation: lie and deny. Lie and deny it to the point of her giving up on the subject. As long as she doesn’t explicitly hear me admit anything and she has no real evidence I’m not going down.

I walked up to Kindra and looked her right in the narrow eyes. “Law enforcement sees everything these days right? And I’m guessing you were paid a lot of money to look like that and try to force me into admitting something I didn‘t do.” I huffed a cloud of smoked into her face causing her to fan them away. “I know your angle now miss Kindra. A little bit of smoke and mirrors here and there to try and startle me into a confession or whatever so you can take it downtown, put a lawyer on it, and call it a case. But here’s the thing, you’re not dealing with some gumshoe from across the street, now I don’t know how you got my name, how you found me, or how you get this crazy idea that I’m connected to some murder of a woman that I obviously don’t know. You need to get it through your skull that I’m not the one you’re looking for, you got me?” I backed up a step and ended the conversation saying, “Now that we have that straightened out I’ll be on my way.” I stopped after a couple steps to say, ”Oh and miss Kindra, I don’t want to meet you like this again, are we clear?” Making sure that she understands that the next time would be very unpleasant for her.

I continued my walk home sure that I had put Kindra in her place. Her face was frozen in anger when I left but I didn’t care. I was not gonna be felt out by some gumshoe dressed for Cirque du Soleil. I knew it was all a sham, nobody saw me that night doing anything I was damn sure of that, she just wanted to scare me that’s all. I came to an abrupt halt when I bumped into a woman shaped obstacle in the dark… a woman in a large trench coat to be precise.

Kindra’s eyes were scorching as she stood there in front of me staring me down as she did a few moments ago as she came into light. It was strange I remember being at least half a block away from her as I left her to go home, but why does it feel as though I haven’t moved? I took a look around and noticed behind me was an alley, an alley with graffiti stained walls, a fire escape leading up the apartment buildings, and a brick divider. I thought it was a coincidence until I saw the very same crack I left in the wall I was standing next to.

“What the fuck?” I uttered trying to back away from Kindra. But she approached me closer her green eyes locked in a piercing stare that lit my stomach on fire. All of a  sudden I stopped, my legs stopped pushing back despite me commanding them to, actually my whole body stopped responding.

“Perhaps you understand where your threats lie now.” She barked approaching closer to my paralyzed form. “I will forgive you only for your ignorance and nothing more, Nicholas. Had you had known exactly who you were talking to when you said what you said then I would have to punish you… severely.”

“Who are you then?!” I barked as I wrestled to regain control over my own body.

Not soon after, Kindra’s eyes lost all of their fury as her face became weary and upset. I can tell It was in reaction to what I had asked, but what did I say to break her spirit like that?

“It hurts that… I do not even have that honor anymore.” She spoke in a now solemn tone. “Gone are those days of being known, hated, and scorned by every society. My children have all forgotten me, and look what they become without my guidance. Look how society treats them.” She spoke as if she was addressing herself rather than to me, her focus just seemed off now as she watched the ground get soaked rather me.

I wondered, who would call her a mother?

“Nicholas you probably are confused at what I said.” Kindra stated as she focused her sight back to me.

“What prompted that little monologue?” I asked.

“Do you know who I am?”

“Outside of your name being Kindra, no.”

“Well I’ll start off by telling you this, you are my child.”

“I’m the son of Leona Blade, born in Newark, New Jersey March 23rd 1982. There’s nothing on my birth certificate that says anything about ‘Kindra’ anywhere so you can cut that shit out.”

“You are my child!” She barked in a rage, “I am the one who made you special!”

I gave her a look, I was confused about what she meant. What made me ‘special’ to her?

Reacting to my look Kindra looked even more perplexed than I did. “You don’t know what you are do you?” My body suddenly came back under my control and all I could do was stand and observe in bewilderment. She asked me a question I actually didn’t know the answer to, not even remotely. “Come here.” She commanded. When she saw I was apprehensive she repeated herself gesturing me to come closer to her. I leaned toward her and she soft grabbed my face and looked at me. For some reason her hands were warm, they weren’t cold at all. She squeezed and pressed my skin as if she was feeling for something. But all I felt was my skin getting hotter and hotter and hotter still, it felt like I was being burned alive. Kicking and screaming I tried to pull away but Kindra forced me back to where she wanted me and continued to press on burning my flesh.

With one hard pull I tore myself from her grasp clutching my face in literal burning agony. I felt around for any wounds but surprisingly my skin was still smooth where it needed to be. I looked at my hands as the rain poured over them, not a scratch either like I imagined there would be after leaving a crack in a brick wall, but no not a scratch not even redness. I had to get myself together here, what am I immune to injury? What the hell is going on with me? What did she do to me?

Kindra’s face was filled with sadness now, even in the rain I could tell she was close to crying. “Please, why are you trying to tear away from me?”

“Are you fucking insane?” I snarled.

She pressed forward but I backed away from her.

“What did you do to me?!”

“I tried to awaken you, Nicholas”

“Awaken? What the blue hell are you going on about?! I‘m awake enough as it is without my face set on broil!”

“I find this odd.” She began as she calmed her mood a bit, “Nicholas tell me, have you ever been sealed before?”

My face was finally cooling down and I embraced the rolling chill of rain running down my face. I was still angry at what just happened, she basically lit me on fire without a match and has the nerve to ask me a question? This woman is off her rock. I brushed past her and got the hell out of there and made my way down the sidewalk. But déjà vu hit when I walked up to Kindra’s silhouette, hands on her hips eyes still locking me down. I ended up right back in the same alleyway, in the same position and just realizing I didn’t even have my cigarette in my mouth. Come to think of it I didn’t have it in my mouth the second time I walked off.

“I asked you a question, Nicholas. Answer me, please.” Kindra demanded.

I was too distracted by the fact that my cigarette was missing to answer her. Did it drop out of my mouth in surprise? No I usually remove it myself in any situation, cigarettes are too expensive nowadays to just waste. I thought about it for a moment and got a hunch to check my pack in my pocket. I don’t know why but something told me to check in there and I was right. The pack had two cigarettes! Then I thought back to when and where, I didn’t smoke the second one until I told her off. After I tell her off I attempt to walk away but every time I end up back here and the cigarette is back in its pack. Oh! That’s right I wasn’t smoking the first moment I saw Kindra and maybe that’s why it was in its pack because I didn’t take it out yet. And the second time I tried to walk off I didn’t have the cigarette in my mouth. But this is only a hunch I gotta see for myself. I put a cigarette in my mouth and tried to walk off, much to Kindra’s annoyance as she shouted something I didn’t pay attention to as I tried to walk off again. When I inevitably ended up back in the alley to the presence of a now very angry Kindra I disregarded her and immediately checked my pack and as I expected, two cigarettes. What the hell is going on here? This is some Star Trek shit happening right now. I then turned my attention to Kinda who again was expressing her anger and immediately interrupted her stated, “You’re controlling time.”

Kindra jumped back the accusation. “Huh?” She yelped.

“How the fuck are you controlling time? What the hell are you?”

“Controlling time? What?” She replied.

“I keep ending up in this same alley every time I try to walk away from you and my cigarette goes back to where it was when I first caught sight of you: in the pack. Every time I walk off you keep bringing me back here. Reavers don‘t have that power to manipulate time no matter how powerful. So what are you?!”

Kindra smirked and then started laughing at the notion. She laughed as if I just told a funny joke, like it was a game what she was doing.

“What’s so funny?!” I barked.

Kindra slowly gathered herself and cleared her throat and explained, “Nicholas, could it be possible you never left that spot?” She giggled.

“What? I left this damn spot three times! What are you talking about?! You keep reverting time back to when I first turned around and saw you!”

“Hahaha no you haven’t. Don‘t you find it odd that you have full memory of my name and the fact your cigarettes are in your pack? If I reversed time you wouldn‘t have any memory of any of that because it hasn‘t happened yet has it?”
Wait, she’s making sense. “So you’re some new generation of Reaver or something?” I asked.

Kindra let out a sigh. “Reaver, I don’t like that word. That's a word they came up with to brand all of my children. The proper term is a Child of Kindra, Nicholas.”

“Child of Kindra? What?” A sneered?

She dismissed my inquiry saying, “Don’t worry about it, it’s… it’s ancient history.”  She continued, “What’s happening Nicholas is you’re not in the real world, you’re inside of me actually.”

I responded with absolute silence. I wanted her to continue because this sounded just too farfetched for even the most religious Trekkie to believe.

“You want me to explain don’t you?”

I nodded.

“It’s a simple act of removing your consciousness and merging it with my own. Therefore your senses: sight, touch, smell, feel, and hearing, are all under my control.”

“And how am I able to move and act freely if I’m basically under hypnosis? Wouldn’t you have to command me to do things?”

“Oh my, no.” She giggled, “So this is what comes with the invention of television. I said your consciousness is melded with my own, which means you’re conscious still and capable of action, just not in your body. In simpler terms, right now you’re inside my imagination, you see what I want you to see, you hear what I want you to hear, you feel what I want you to feel and so on and so forth. I can completely control your body here because it only exists in here. Your actions in this realm are everything you do is as it would be in reality, but under my influence if I see fit. The only thing that I can’t control is your consciousness because its your mind and decisions not my own. So when you kept trying to leave me all I did was relocate your body back to where I wanted.”

When my brain to stopped tossing around my skull screaming for help I replied, “You’re gonna need to prove this bullshit. I mean it sounds like it makes sense, but I don‘t believe in this other worldly nonsense.”

Kindra pushed her tongue in her cheek and looked up. At first I wondered what she was doing until I noticed the sound of rain had stopped all together and the sun bursted down on the alleyway. I couldn’t believe it, it was now a sunny day instead of a stormy night. This was beyond unreal.

“I like the sun better anyway.” Kindra remarked. “Now back to the question I asked earlier Nicholas, were you ever sealed in any way?”

Considering I had no choice and was technically kidnapped I thought hard for a moment trying to remember this one story my mother told me, it was about this one psycho priest who tried to kill me as a baby. My mother never explained why he did it, she never wanted to talk about the subject at all after telling me once. Perhaps she was trying to tell me something but ended up changing her mind half way through, it makes sense.

“Come to think of it yea I think there was uh, this Priest, Father Vance at the church I used to go to when I was younger. My mother told me something about a him attempting to kill me with some sort of cleansing ritual when I was a baby. Mind you, I was about I don’t fourteen or so when she told me so really I was just a virgin to the world.

Going to attempt some Detective tales

As I was working the other night my mind drifted much like it always does and I came up with a character I wanted to try, his name is Richard Corrigan a private-eye detective. And I was just acting out scenes in the same vein one of my favorite animes Case Closed (Detective Conan in Japan) and I thought hell why not give it a shot?

So while I'm hard at work on my first origin story for Nicholas Blade I'll take a break and write a short story and post it up here for the lovers of mystery much like myself.

Who knows it might coincide with Ruin as a series at some point. Anyways that's all for now!